Around 10 years into practicing the “letting go” meditation, I had another bizarre experience. Unable to find an equivalent term in Dhamma, I resorted to the Hindu energy system: kundalini rising. While meditating as usual, I felt a hot sensation rising up my spine. It continued up the crown and circled back. With every cycle, the heat intensified until I felt I was a ball of fire itself. If I opened my eyes, I bet it would have been like the laser eyes Cyclops from x-men. I was sweating and I was sure my head was smoking. My heartbeat grew weak, my consciousness started to fade. That was the limit of my endurance. I moved my fingers and started to come out of meditation.
Kundalini is like the first jhana, involving the clearing and cleansing of energy channels. In this case, the movement of energy is hot and burning, while first jhana is cool, orgasmic and shower in goosebumps.
Anyone who meditates will experience both the joyful and the bizarre. If the experience becomes overwhelming, we can terminate it by moving our fingers, slowly, gradually. Be gentle, kind and take a break. Get back to the basics of sweeping meditation, laundry meditation, gardening mediation, taking care of family meditation, working meditation.
If we don’t have access to a teacher for guidance or like -minded friends for support, then our mind is the yardstick. For example, if we experiment with a technique or have some sort of profound insight, then we use our mind as a standard. Does the practice or insight make us more peaceful, improve the harmony of those we are in contact with, are we gravitating towards simplicity and minimalism, is our knowing bright and sharp?
The more we learn to use our body and mind as feedback for our practice, the sooner we become empowered and independent.